


Dreams of the Shore

by sxetia



Category: Chrono Cross
Genre: Breakups, Drabble, F/M, Light Angst, Longing, Post-Canon, Unrequited Love, Yearning, you can't come back the same
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:09:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28185897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sxetia/pseuds/sxetia
Summary: Serge has been acting weird.
Relationships: Kid/Serge (Chrono Cross), Leena/Serge (Chrono Cross)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 6





	Dreams of the Shore

You do this a lot, lately – always do, without fail, every time we make a trip to Opassa Beach. That thing where you'll stand on the shore, right on the cusp of where tides kiss sand, and just _stare._ Right out into the ocean, or maybe the horizon, or at the skies, or... whatever it is. I'll ask you what you're looking at and you'll just purse your lips, or shrug, or look at me for a second before shaking your head. Maybe a combination if I'm really lucky. You've never been one to talk much, not since the demon gutted you, but it's never been so _frustrating_ until now.

It's like you don't even want to talk to me. And it's not like I mind that, but I wish you'd tell me.

I can't really explain the look on your face, but I'd never really seen you like this before at all until that day you passed out on the beach. It's not like I've always liked you for any one particular reason or that I _expect_ anything from you, but you've always been so gentle, Serge – that smile on your face and the warmth in your eye, the way that you approach everything with care and respect, the way that even when you screw up you never lose confidence in your ability to do what's _right._ Your heart's always been in the right place, and even when you weren't smiling you always had this _look_ in your eye. This wonder, this optimism, this–...

You wade out into the water, barefoot, boots and socks and gloves abandoned and deep blue waves tickling your ankles, submerging the scar from where you broke your ankle when we were twelve, and you look so hurt. So lost. Empty, like a part of you is missing. Your brow furrows, nose tightens up, jaw locks... I never saw you _angry_ in my entire life before you passed out. You woke up, talked more at once than I had ever seen you speak in my entire life, yelling at me and asking what do I _mean_ I didn't know what you were talking about. It was like I was looking at a different person entirely, that somebody had stolen you away and replaced you with a doppelganger.

But you were only unconscious for a few minutes. I held your head in my lap until you came to all the while. When you came to your senses I told you that our summer was just beginning. But the anticipation that I had then still hasn't been consummated, because it's like you don't even want to be around me anymore. Not like you used to. I wanted a summer full of happiness and memories I'd never forget. Now I can't tell one day from the other most days.

Whenever you look out into the ocean it's like you're waiting for something. I wish you'd tell me what. You keep going through your pockets, through your room. You keep complaining about how your old bone Swallow – the one I made for you as a birthday gift that you've used as an oar every day since – is so light and rough in your hands, like you're anticipating a fight. I heard once from Orcha's brother that you were asking about the Radical Dreamers at the restaurant near my house, the one where we went on our first date – I'd ask why if I thought I would get an answer out of you.

It hurts, Serge. It really, really does.

It hurts even worse when you tell me you want to leave Arni. I ask why, and I ask what about the promises we made, and what about getting married and adopting some kids that got orphaned in the war, and what about your family and you just grimace, and shrug, and hold your face in your hands.

You tell me that whatever – or whoever – it is you're waiting on isn't going to find you here, and that if you have to wait in a place you've grown out of for any longer you might go insane. You want to go out and look for it – for them – just like they're looking for you.

Just like you, always looking out for others, wanting to help and carry your weight. Just... not for Arni anymore, I guess.

I only want you to be happy and to be safe, and I hope that whatever it is you're looking for – whoever it is you're looking for – gives you that.

I hope I find what I'm looking for one day, too.


End file.
